A man was at the doctor's office. “Every time I drink a cup of coffee, Doctor, I have a stabbing pain in my right eye. What should I do?” he asked.
“Take the spoon out of your cup. ” answered the doctor.
One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.
"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”
“Ten.” Jim says.
“Then,” Mother asks.
“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn't it right?”